Start of show: 'I don't know about you, but I think old Pineapple Face is kinda cute. Less than an hour ago, I was talking to someone from Radio 4, who have, for purposes so obscure I needn't go into then here, transcribed some of my remarks from last night's programme, and seeing these things written down made me realise that what I thought of as middle-aged exuberance is in fact spluttering incoherence. So, tonight, brevity and caution rule.'
(JP: 'I think they're making fun of us, you know. I don't think these are traditional Ukrainian numbers at all....Wasn't Dusheyev a footballer? I'm sure I heard a reference in it to Nevin, and also to Stanley Rous. Perhaps I'm beginning to hear things, I don't know.')
(JP: 'Stars of my birthday party, which certainly was the night for me of the decade, along with the one with the Fall, the House Of Love and the Wedding Present. An unforgettable night and, quite clearly, if I dropped dead tomorrow, I couldn't complain. The only complaint that I did have about it was that a lot of people have written to me regularly over the years. I wrote to them and said, "Why don't you come along to this party?". For one reason or another, I suspect because they imagined it was going to be a kind of showbiz event, they didn't come. A lot did, but quite a few didn't, and that sort of saddened me, because they missed a terrific night.')
(JP then plays the beginning of the same band's 'I Bleed', before realising he has made the following mistake.)
(JP: 'I said that something terrible was going to happen this year, and it's just happened, because I played you the wrong track. I said that I was always nervous about doing the Festive Fifty, because I knew that one of these years something appalling was going to happen. This is the first time it's happened. As I say, I played you the wrong one.) Not the first time: see 30 December 1986 and 20 December 1988, the latter also involving a Pixies track.
(JP: 'Course. I only made that mistake really to see if anybody was paying any attention, and it turns out that they are. The Mayo phone, white hot it is now, with people telling me that I made a similar mistake last year, but with the Pixies as well, and if that's true, and it very likely is, then I apologise even more.')